This post was written by Laurie Davis, the Sparkology Online Concierge and Founder of eFlirt Expert. Laurie has worked with over 500 online daters and been featured in over 200 international media outlets. Sparkology members have access to Laurie through exclusive personal services so they can put their best foot forward online and off.
The dynamic of meeting your next date online is different than in-person. Other than the obvious — you’re greeting a screen rather than a face (at least for the moment) – there are a million other nuances when you take communicating digitally into account. The way you approach someone, the ability to search for your next match, and the journey to a first date creates an entirely different atmosphere.
Because of these differences, you can’t approach web flirting with the same mindset — especially if you’re new to the digital dating space. Below are three tips to help you log on with the right perspective and avoid frustration.
Throw Your Type Out the Window. If you reflect on your dating history, you’ll most likely notice trends in the personalities of your past relationships. Whatever he or she has resembled in the past, it’s time to clean your slate. Dating trends can often mean that a certain personality resonates with who you are, but since these relationships haven’t lasted, it might also means there’s been a conflict with this ‘type.’
It’s a known fact that online dating users date outside the box more often because of the variety in personalities offered. You never know where one simple email, phone call, or cup of coffee can lead, and it doesn’t hurt to try. In fact, dating someone you usually wouldn’t is often a learning experience — you’ll develop better awareness of your preferences. New experiences can be eye opening.
Create a Proactive Inbox. Whenever you log on, search for matches in addition to checking your inbox. If you like someone, live in the moment and message them. And stay proactive about sending emails. If you message only one person and cross your fingers as you wait for a response, you risk losing out on other opportunities in the meantime.
Ladies, this means you, too. You will naturally get more emails than men without putting as much effort forth, but gender roles don’t apply when you’re online. Consider online dating an empowerment tool for you to take charge of your dating life. Chivalry will still happen when you get offline with your match.
Don’t Get Discouraged. So you sent out a couple emails that didn’t elicit a response from your match… so what! This is a natural part of online dating. You didn’t know them and they didn’t know you, so you can’t look at it as a rejection. For all you know, your match might be on the brink of a relationship but hasn’t taken down his or her profile yet. Falling in love with someone on paper can be dangerous — after all, there’s a whole world wide web out there!
It’s easy to get swept up in a good email conversation, too. Digital communication does not always mimic in-person dynamics perfectly. So if you don’t have great chemistry when you meet up, consider that there’s a reason you only met for one drink, rather than getting disappointed.
Bottom line? Online dating should be fun, but it’s definitely about keeping perspective. Do that and you’ll rule cyberspace.