The following post was contributed by Justin Gottlieb who is the founder and creative director of Social Shark NYC. Social Shark guides the boys of Manhattan into becoming the men of Manhattan. Sometimes raunchy, sometimes shocking, always honest.
When first pursuing a woman, one of the most difficult things to gauge is: How often do you contact her? Every woman has their number of Preferred Text or Call Occurrences (PTCO) over a period of time. Some of the more independent women may only like to get texts once or twice a week from a guy that is “courting” them. Other women may want assurance of a man’s interest by way of more frequent texts and calls.
Deciphering this is hard enough. Now throw in the fact that the number of PTCO can change based on her level of attraction to a guy, her personal situation, how she met you, and her mood that day. So, maybe she is really into you and with every little envelope that pops up on her phone with your name under it, jubilation and joy runs through her veins warming her heart. On the other hand, if she has a lot going on in her personal life (sick family member, lingering ex-boyfriend, problems at work etc.), maybe your texts are a burden. Perhaps she’s upset and the triple header text combo you just sent her made her delete your number in fit of rage.
If you are looking for the answer to how many texts per day/week/month are appropriate you’re not going to find it. That number is a fluid equation filled with human emoticons that simply has too many variables to be predicted. However, more often than not, you can lose a woman’s interest by being too available, and yes that does include texts. Don’t get me wrong: PTCO is not intended to be manipulative… and I’m not teaching guys how to “play the game” by seeming unavailable. On the contrary, I’m helping the overzealous guy who might be incredibly nice but suffocate a potentially awesome relationship with overtexting.
BUT: If too many texts can mean too available, can too few texts do you harm as well? (continue reading here)