How To Be A Modern Gentleman In 10 Ways

how to be a gentleman in online dating

Truth: today’s dating rules are very different from the ones our parents lived by in the past. Living in a big city like New York or Washington DC, you rarely get picked up and driven by your date. Today, women are just as able as men to have a great self-supporting job. Additionally, you can get away with sending an email or text instead of a phone call.  Is chivalry dead? I think not. Insert the “Modern Gentleman”.

Ideally, you want to take the best rules that are still relevant from the past and combine them with our modern-day standards.

A Few Things That Haven’t Changed

  • Make Eye Contact
  • Open Every Door
  • Be on time
  • Provide Compliments
  • Ask questions

A Few Things That Have

  • No need to order for her, but definitely let her order first
  • Walk her to her cab, bus or train
  • No cell phones out while on your date 
  • Make sure everyone has their plate before you start eating
  • Text, E-mail or Call after your date to say you had a great time and would like to schedule a second date, if she is interested

 

 

 

 

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Do More Choices Lead to Better Success Rates When Online Dating?

How to best use online dating sites

Picture this: you walk into a bar, packed with hotties. I’m talking tons. Everywhere you turn, everyone is your type. Fast-forward 10 minutes, how many do you think you’ve spoken to? I’ll give you a hint: 0-3 tops

The Curse of Choice

People often find themselves asking for choices, but when choices are actually offered, they are rarely used. Do more choices lead to better success rates and more satisfied clients? Truth is, they don’t.

Sparkology is very familiar with the theory behind the “curse of choice”.  Rather than overwhelm your brain, we believe in providing you with the cream of the crop and narrowing your search for you.

Barry Schwartz, psychology professor at Swarthmore College and author of The Paradox of choice: Why More is Less, states that having increased options doesn’t necessarily make people happy. As the number of choices increase, negative aspects begin to appear. Additionally he states, “as the number of choices grows even further, we become less satisfied with the options we’re given, and the negatives escalate until we become overloaded.”

Here are the facts:

  • Your brain works through process of elimination. Rather than choosing what you want, you are more likely to eliminate what you don’t want. Therefore, more choices generally just means more work.
  • The more you need to eliminate the harder it is to choose one thing.
  • Many psychologists have actually found that there may in fact be a correlation between people’s sense of unhappiness and the amount of choices available to them.
  • When people are faced with excessive possible selections research shows that people suffer from depression, grief, and sadness

While some choice is good, too many choices are not! This also explains the reasoning behind filters. At Sparkology, we’ve done the filtering for you. While we don’t have the millions of profiles you’d find on OKCupid or Match, we have people you actually want to meet. If you find yourself using a filter, you too believe in the curse of choice and agree with our research.

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What’s the Best First Message to Send to Someone via Online Dating?

 

Congratulations Sparks! You’ve managed to receive an invitation and activate a profile on Sparkology, the best online dating site for young professionals! Now what?!

Let’s face it, that first message is extremely important. How can I show how awesome I am in a few short sentences? Should I try to summarize my resume? I want them to think I am funny, intelligent, talented, charismatic and outgoing, but how can this be done? Should I include job references?

Do not fear Sparks, I am here to help you!

Five Steps to an Awesome First Message

  • Step One – Start off with a simple greeting followed by your first name. Make things personal. No girl wants to read an initial message directed to “ the most beautiful girl in the world”. These greetings sound like a mass text or a fisherman looking to catch the quickest and easiest bait.
  • Step Two - Keep it simple. Ask them how their day was. Don’t overanalyze.
    Try to make them smile because humor makes magic. How about a corny pick up line followed by a “ did that work?” You can also send a random fact you looked up on Google followed by a “ bet you didn’t know that one!”
  • Step Three - Show them you took the time to look at their profile and didn’t just quickly skim through their pictures.
  • Step Four - Set the scene up for a response. Ask them a question about themselves. This will open the door for the chit-chat you are looking for!
  • Step Five – End the message with a friendly phrase that isn’t overly dramatic. Examples: Hope to hear back from you soon or Talk soon.

Sample Messages

Here are some examples to get you started:

————–

Hi Brian!

My name is Rebecca. How are you? I really enjoyed reading your profile. I see you went to UPenn; I went to school at Temple University and loved Philadelphia! I’m sure you’d love to hear about my awesome Philly cheese steak recipe ;)

Hope to hear back from you soon,
Rebecca

————–

Hey Stephanie,

Nice to “meet” you, my name is Luke! How’s your workweek going? According to the Google fact of the day women are more influenced by how a man smells than how he looks! Would you like a list of my colognes now or after our first date?
On a serious note, I loved reading your profile and I look forward to hearing more about your volunteer work with the humane society!

Looking forward to chatting with you,
Luke

————–

Hello there,

My name is Noah and I also studied abroad in China! What was your favorite part of the experience? I really enjoyed going to the local markets and experiencing a different culture. Would love to practice my Chinese with you over dumplings one day. Just kidding, we can do burgers instead.

Anxiously waiting for your reply,
Noah

————–

Hola Nick,

My name is Sofia and I am originally from Puerto Rico! I see you work for the Mexican Embassy here in DC. How do you like it? Do you get free Mexican food? If so, I’m totally down to hang out with you haha Mexican cuisine is my absolute favorite! How do you like Georgetown?

Adios,
Sofia

————–

Happy dating everyone!
Gaby

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Most Dateworthy Man in the World – Jim

We have, hands down, the best young singles in the world on Sparkology. What better way to show the world than through video. Here’s Jim, member #4706.

A Princeton grad with a great finance career in NYC that’s just looking to meet a great girl to experience life with. Interested? Join Sparkology and meet all of our wonderful members!

Interested in starring in a future video? Contact us at service@sparkology.com.

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4 Fun Date Ideas You Can Book Online

Tension, anxiety, armpits moistened more than normal. A distinct fear arrives on the eve of every first date.

“How’s the hair?”

“Is my throat sore? Dammit, it’s sore. I know I’m sick. I should cancel.”

“Parachute pants could be a decent ice-breaker…”

Oftentimes, this pre-date anxiety arises from horrific first date flashbacks. The time in college you skipped through the quad singing Christmas carols only to find out your date’s Jewish. What about the time your nervousness led you to an hour long lecture about Dostoevsky?

Don’t worry. There’s a solution. First, it’s always a good idea to lotion your nostrils. Second, stand out by proposing an activity date! These aren’t your childhood activities like playing Clue over a couple PB&J’s—although a brilliant date idea if accompanied by a blanket fort. These activities placate the adult-child within every adult: Chocolate Tour, pizza-making, BYOB painting lesson, jazz lounge, trapeze (?!).

Not only is more dopamine released during new activities than a dinner, but the experiences create great anecdotes for you to build upon with each subsequent date!

With an NYC dating pool of about, like, 40% of NYC adults being single, shouldn’t your goal be to stand out and provoke excitement? Here’s a list of great date activities you can reserve instantly on Vimbly.com. By the way, all Sparkologists will receive $10 off of any Vimbly purchase. Just enter the code SPARKME-VBY upon your booking.

Wine and cheese tasting: Not only will you both indulge in a classy evening, but also you’ll probably learn interesting facts about wine pairings and tastings. It’s a perfect way to loosen up, chat, and enjoy a night out.

Comedy Show: Fun, relaxed environment. With cheap drinks featured at most comedy clubs, an improv show provides laughter and a great conversation piece after the performance.

Pizza Making: Honestly, what’s better than pizza?? Oh, that’d be making your own pizza. No need for explanation here.

BYOB Painting Class: Indulge in a bottle of wine and tune your inner Picasso. Again, this date ensures a relaxed atmosphere and instant conversation. It’s especially perfect if neither of you know how to paint. “That lily pad looks like a broken pencil on an elephant!”

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Huntley Club Comes to NYC: Benefits Sparkology Daters

Huntley Club‘s mission is to provide exceptional lifestyle benefits and events to our members, who are typically hard-working professionals in their 20s and 30s. Member benefits include standing discounts and VIP perks at our carefully selected partners, regular social & networking events at trendy venues, and exclusive rates on hand-curated treks to many exotic destinations. Our 200+ partners include Equinox Fitness, Nordstrom, Brooks Brothers, Tieks, Starwood, Ritz Carlton, Hertz, Uber, YogaWorks, Bliss Spas, Exhale Spa, and many others. We negotiate distinctive, STANDING benefits that our members can depend upon – we are not flash sale company.

Sparkology members receive over 30% membership to Huntley Club. Use code SPARK13 with this link. Valid through 5/31/13.

Prepare

Get yourself in shape by taking advantage of Huntley Club’s preferred rates at Equinox Fitness, where you will save up to $60 / month off of standard rates and see your entire initiation fee waived.

Huntley Club Equinox Young Professionals Sparkology

Dine

Take your date to one of the dozens of premier restaurants in Huntley Club’s partnership network and save up to 30% on your entire bill.

Huntley Club Restaurant Young Professionals Sparkology

Get Away

Take your relationship to the next level with a weekend away at any of Huntley Club’s hundreds of preferred hotels; you will save at least 10% off the guaranteed lowest public rate at all W Hotels, St. Regis, Westin, Ritz Carlton, Marriott and Fairmont properties (and many more).

Huntley Club Vacation Young Professionals Sparkology

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