How to End an Awkward Conversation on a Date

How to get out of a bad date

What’s worse than being stuck on a horrible date and having to engage in an awkward conversation? I can fully relate to the anxiety provoked by such a horrible situation. Sometimes you just don’t click.

The worst is when you run into them again on the street, after ignoring endless calls and texts. As you feel your blood pressure rising, you desperately feel the need for an exit strategy.

What Do You Do? 

I am here to help you escape that uncomfortable encounter in the quickest and easiest way possible.

A San Jose University graduate student conducted a study on the best way to end an awkward conversation and he came up with the following chart:

How to get out of a bad onlne date

As you can see, the best ways to exit a conversation are through the use of polite hinting, making excuses or turning the tables. The worst ways to end a conversation is by simply vanishing, being restless ( stop the fidgeting!) or simply being rude.

Examples 

1- If you are in a rush and need to get out of there you can just wrap things up abruptly

  •  “I’ve got to go”
  •  “ Take it easy, it was nice seeing you!”

2- If you meet them by coincidence on the street

  • “ It was good running into you, I’m on my way to meet _____!”
  •  “I’ve got a conference call I need to get ready for!

3- If you see them at a party

  • “I’ve got to go find my friends!”
  •  “ Please excuse me, I just saw someone I’ve been meaning to catch up with!”

4- If you are on a date

  • “ Thank you so much to taking the time to meet with me, but I’m not sure we are the right fit.”
  • “ I have a meeting in an hour, so we can really only meet for 45 minutes.”

PS-  When meeting someone for the first time, play it safe and meet for a drink or coffee. Keep it simple so that if things don’t click, you aren’t “stuck” for long.  But if you do click… then clear your calendar and enjoy the sparks!

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Knowing When to Log Off

When to log off an online dating site

While online dating definitely has its positives as listed in my previous post, it certainly can spark negative behaviors we should all look out for. These negative behaviors I speak of can be detrimental to a relationship when left unnoticed or unstopped.

The hardest part of online dating is knowing when to log off. Often times you meet someone you really enjoy spending time with, but you still feel the need to keep that “safety-net” just incase things don’t turn out as planned.

Who Does This Hurt Most?

Ultimately this may hurt you most, and here’s why: you aren’t giving anyone a proper chance and you aren’t allowing a true relationship to develop. You are training your mind to toy with the idea of the grass being greener on the other side. While it may be somewhat safe to have a backup plan, this specific backup plan will often times backfire.

This safety net may put you in a love-less limbo. Instead, make the commitment and give your love interest a real chance.

Sparkology has an abundant amount of  great potential matches. But, when you meet someone you click with, sign off or pause your profile and give that other person a true shot.

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Benefits of Online Dating

best online dating site in nyc

I am happy to say the negative stereotypes about online dating have been defeated. People are not only filling out their profiles in the privacy of their own home, they are also trying to find a match via their mobile phones while sitting in traffic or grocery shopping.

Now that we are no longer trying to convince the world that online dating is an acceptable and “cool” practice, I can focus on presenting you with the positives that come with searching for that soulmate via the internet.

Lists, Show Me The lists!  

1-In today’s world, there’s a dating site for everyone. Much like when advertising your product, you are able to choose a site that caters to your exact preference or demographic of choice.

  • WeWaited.com-Virgins who are waiting until marriage
  • Veggiedate.com- Vegetarian dating for vegetarian singles
  • Grindr.com- Men finding men
  • Cupidtino.com- Dating site for Apple fans.
  • Sparkology- Young NYC professionals

2- Always struggling to express your achievements and background when meeting someone? While online dating, you are able to show off your best qualities via an AboutMe section without sounding overly cocky or obnoxious.

3- Filters. Lot’s of them. Some sites allow you to filter your matches by height, ethnicities, location, income, religion, etc. The really great sites, like Sparkology, filter your results for you. They have pre-screened all possible matches and only show you other educated professionals in your area.

4- Talking online helps ease your nerves when meeting in person for the first time.

5- Variety. No time to mope around while feeling rejected. If it doesn’t work out, there are plenty of fish in the sea, just a click away!

5- Cats out of the bag- everyone on there is looking to meet someone else. When you walk into a bar, you aren’t sure who is single or open to a relationship etc. This is especially true for sites the members pay for like Sparkology. Most people won’t pay for a dating site they don’t intend to take seriously.

6- He/She obviously finds you attractive. No need to play the guessing game with regards to looks.

7- Everyone’s doing it and most people have had success. Check out Sparkology’s list of happy endings here.

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23 Fun Facts About Dating

Fun Facts About Online Dating

Interesting facts about the dating world that might make you laugh, smile, freak-out and share!

  • Most couples are willing to enter an exclusive relationship after six to eight dates.
  • Most common time for breakups is around three to five months.
  • It takes between 12-14 dates before couples will trade house keys.
  • Women who post a photo on Internet dating sites receive twice as many email messages as women who don’t.
  • Men who report incomes higher than $250,000 received 156% more emails than those with $50,000.
  • On free dating sites, at least 10% of new accounts are from scammers.
  • Ninety-two percent of single parents would rather date other single parents.
  • 33% of online daters form a relationship.
  • In a survey of 5,000 singles, 43% said fresh breath mattered the most, 17% said stylish clothes, 15% said sexy fragrance, 14% said good skin, and 10% said great hair.
  • It is suggested you wait until the third date to cook someone dinner at home.
  • Nearly 40% of men do not feel confident meeting a women for the first time.
  • Women will base 55% of her initial impressions of a man on his appearance and body language.
  • Dating specialists suggest that if a woman doesn’t return a call after two messages, she’s not interested.
  • If a woman offers to pay for everything, chances are she isn’t into the date.
  • Research shows that men know they’re falling in love after just three dates, but women don’t fall in love until date 14.
  • Twenty to forty million Americans have used online dating services.
  • Nearly 50% of online daters are aged 18-34
  • Over 50% of all singles in America have not had a date in more than two years.
  • 48% of online daters reported that their breakups occurred via email.
  • Italian food is one of the most popular restaurants for a first date.
  • On average, daters will kiss on a second date.
  • On average, couples have sex within about four to six dates.
  • The third week in September is National Singles Week in the U.S

For more facts , check out http://facts.randomhistory.com/dating-and-relationship-facts.html

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10 Signs You Are Ready For A Relationship

when am I ready to date again

A relationship won’t work if you aren’t ready. Despite the weight loss, new wardrobe, new job, new apartment or new social circle, finding the right match is all about timing

How do you know you are relationship ready?

I’ve come up with the following 10-item checklist you should complete before taking the plunge.

  1. You have a handful of good friends.  By good, I mean really good. Friends you can count on for anything. I’m talking about the ones who will always answer your phone calls, emails and texts. It is extremely important to have a strong support group.
  2. Your past relationships are in your past. You no longer think about the what ifs, why’s, how, or maybe later. You don’t get angry at the mention of their name and you definitely don’t stalk their social media sites.
  3. You are okay being alone. You don’t need a bodyguard or safety blanket to run to the market or mall. You are comfortable grabbing a bite to eat at the corner coffee shop without needing another person to sit next to you.
  4.  You have your own interests and hobbies. You have taken the time to establish your own “happy list”.  These are activities that help define who you are as an individual. Whether its going to the beach, cycling or attending a craft fair, you take the time to do things that make you smile.
  5. You know what you don’t want. You’ve learned from your past mistakes, and you know what you are not willing to put up with again. Standards and boundaries.
  6. You have a good idea of where you want to be in 5 years. It is important to have your own set of goals. This will give you a sense of independence, which is an important quality to have.
  7. Confidence. You are comfortable in your own skin. Make-up free, instagram filter free, and true to yourself.
  8. Emotional Availability. You have the ability to  both trust someone else and express how you feel.
  9.  You aren’t pessimistic about love. You believe it can happen and that it will happen.
  10. You are willing to explore options to find your match.  

 

 

 

 

 

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How To Be A Modern Gentleman In 10 Ways

how to be a gentleman in online dating

Truth: today’s dating rules are very different from the ones our parents lived by in the past. Living in a big city like New York or Washington DC, you rarely get picked up and driven by your date. Today, women are just as able as men to have a great self-supporting job. Additionally, you can get away with sending an email or text instead of a phone call.  Is chivalry dead? I think not. Insert the “Modern Gentleman”.

Ideally, you want to take the best rules that are still relevant from the past and combine them with our modern-day standards.

A Few Things That Haven’t Changed

  • Make Eye Contact
  • Open Every Door
  • Be on time
  • Provide Compliments
  • Ask questions

A Few Things That Have

  • No need to order for her, but definitely let her order first
  • Walk her to her cab, bus or train
  • No cell phones out while on your date 
  • Make sure everyone has their plate before you start eating
  • Text, E-mail or Call after your date to say you had a great time and would like to schedule a second date, if she is interested

 

 

 

 

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